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We Don't Talk About It

I read a lot of brave blogs by women that talk about the abuse that happens to them. Some seem to write with the mind-set that this is a woman thing. Or it is a thing men do to women. I'm going to talk about something uncomfortable. I'm going to talk about times that I, a male, was abused. Why? People should really know that it happen to everyone. I've hidden all of this for the entire span of my life; I'm 45 as of the writing.

I'm six years old and at a truck stop dinner with my mom, and grandmother. Needing to use the bathroom I go in to the mens room and stand at the urinal to pee. A trucker comes in and picks the stall right next to me so he can pull his dick out and look at mine. I'm told that I'm a very pretty girl and that he is so lucky. I leave and tell my mom and grandmother. They laugh it off and I'm too young to know if they ever took it serious. All I know is it was laughed away.

I'm seven years old and the YMCA and my mother sign me up for the Big Brother program. It is okay because my Big Brother only visits very rarely. One weekend, however, I am taken for a long three day weekend to Avalon, on the island of Catalina off of California. Lot about the trip are a lot of fun. A boat ride there and back. Seeing water so clear I can see all the fish. But we stay in a hotel on the island and being bathed by a person you hardly know isn't. I'm washed all over, mostly my genitals. Then he gets naked and joins in the bath. At night I have to sit around naked then get cuddled all night naked because my clothes got dirty and had to be washed and dried.

The next year this same Big Brother moves to Lake Tahoe but invited me out there to spend a weekend. I'm naked the entire time, like a pet while my Big Brother and the boy in his late teens enjoy life in their underware. I'm trusted to take my own bath, but by this point does it mater when you get to see a naked 8 year old boy laying naked all day on the 70's shag carpet while playing with toys.

At age 10 there is a family down the street with a nice black girl my age. I'm told she is my babysitter by my Mom and so need to spend a few hours there. Over the course of months she likes to undress me and teach me how to make love like her older sister does with her boy friends. I have to learn how to hump "round house" with my hips as this is very important. Also I am made to lay naked and lick any part of my same-age babysitter's body that she wants for hours on end.

Older at age 13 I visit a family memebers house and my 3rd cousin is in the TV room and I should go in there too while adults talk. My cousin is masterbating under a blanket but also takes a keen interest in showing me his rock hard memeber as he contintues masturbating but looking at me as his inspiration. I run out of the room to tell and thankfully adults listen. I wasn't sure they would. On the drive home it is explaned to me that boys mastrebate; that's just how it is.

Wow, typing this all out has got my hands shaking badly and my chest has gone all tight. I've been abused repeatedly by different people of differing genders and sexual preferences. I'm not looking for an ounce of pitty. Also this is in no way some "contest" and not meant to detract from the very real abuse women get ALL the time. I just would like people to know that this does happen to men as well. Many of whom may never tell a living soul.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Apr. 30th, 2016 06:37 pm (UTC)

Ye gods and little fishes, but people can be screwed up. (Not uncommonly, by abuse they themselves endured; but plenty are just arses, freshly minted)

It doesn't really matter about gender - the abuse is real, with the larger factor, it seems, being the power dynamic, with the abuser of at least seniority, if not in some position of authority, as with so many Catholic priests.

And as we've seen from some of the recent revelations regarding the likes of Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris, it can be many years before their targets feel safe to come forward - understandable, not just for the extreme sensitivity of the matter, but the power imbalance of trying to make a complaint against someone with such influence and credibility.

I wish I could say I'm happy you've been able to overcome it all, but.. I suppose that's not really something you can ever forget, so much as leave behind. I've been very fortunate in this regard (and many others), perhaps helped by living in the countryside for almost all of my earlier years, so I was only either at school, at home, or occasionally with friends.

You're here, all of those ordeals notwithstanding, and you're a really, really nice person. I'm delighted you're here.

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